I really acknowledge you for stating this. So it’s like to just put stuff out to stay in the zeitgeist is—I personally don’t know a lot of comics. This is the other thing—. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Because I think in something that I talked about in codependent recovery stuff is like the person that grew up in the home that—that’s a superhero. And you feel anxious. Like 50 people have said it and nobody knows who actually said it. Whitney has had an incredible life experience. LEWIS HOWES: Yeah. If I vibe with somebody, turn around, get in your car, and just leave the party. It’s just like, “Why am I carrying this around? In like a cheeky way you’re like, “We shouldn’t just be all love yourself for who you are, because then you’re not going to work to improve yourself.” Is that right?

This is all people would have to remember you by. It’s about sort of everything we all have dealt with, and it was interesting because to come out the day of a tragedy, at least to go like, “You’re going to have to wait two weeks to promote it and we have to relaunch it.” Like so much of the book is about not trying to control what you can’t control. It’s like going to the gym. Like if you’re starting to feel anxious about a moment or stressed or like something’s off.

LEWIS HOWES: That’s it.

It’s like people can look to you and go, “I might not have a podcast and be a brand like him but I’m a teacher and if I just teach these five kids—. LEWIS HOWES: Not coach them or give them the solution.

I mean, they’re beautiful.

Because I don’t like things, if there’s even one way to disprove it, debunk it. That helped me a lot, so I know that to be true. Because what we see in the news all the time, it’s so brutal that I think what people want to see on their night off is changing. There should’ve been divorced before I was even born. And you can crash in relationships. I think you have to date someone that has a similar toolbox in you. LEWIS HOWES: He’s emotionally intelligent.

They’ve also got all natural CBD-powered protein bars in vanilla coconut and cacao flavors. I’m not touring for a while. I want to ask you a couple of final questions, but I want to make sure people check out your book, I’m Fine and Other Lies. Use the code “greatness” to get $75 off.

WHITNEY CUMMINGS: But am I like trying to fix problems, am I trying to fix the world? It’s going to be amazing. Forgiveness is selfish. LEWIS HOWES: That’s a great truth. They all connect on something. They can see you on tour in LA.

LEWIS HOWES: Small acts every single day are great. I also do lots of different things. I actually tweeted you afterwards, not that you saw it but I was just like, “Wow.” I really admired the way you worked the room, the way you tell amazing stories. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: No, not really. What’s another good one? Big thank you again to our sponsors and without further ado, let’s dive into this episode with the inspirational Whitney Cummings. You’re not always going to have the killer day that you want to put on Instagram. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: The way you treat other people is a reflection of how you feel about yourself. When someone’s like—when something’s your fault, at least I can do something about it.

LEWIS HOWES: So you just don’t vibe with the person you’re with? LEWIS HOWES: And be resentful the whole time. I don’t want to make something up for you.

Let’s wait.

That’s why I’m happy to tell you about Candid. In some ways, maybe there’s some crossing of lines but sometimes. LEWIS HOWES: They’re both comedians, right? When someone else is wrong, there’s nothing I can do.

But getting to know your heart is really inspiring so I’m really glad we connected right now at this moment in time and I hope we get to do more stuff. I used to think that my trauma was the only thing that was interesting about me. So share your thoughts, write it down. It’s just that where people vote is changing—. So I think it’s like greatness and what I do is just leaving an imprint on somebody in some real way.

LEWIS HOWES: It was amazing. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Always. And, da da da and like, why isn’t anyone helping me? Those not able to attend the new show dates are eligible for refunds at point of purchase. If you want to get your teeth fixed, the last thing you want to do is wear braces. I feel like it’s half-said, that serenity prayer.

We’re constantly seeing negativity all day in the news. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: You did, you touched, yep. It’s just [inaudible]. Sam, take that. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: That’s a good one. I didn’t know this. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Watch it, post it, share it on Instagram stories when you’re watching it, tag you. LEWIS HOWES: I think there’s something to be accepting yourself for where you’re at and how far you’ve come. If you actually just asked a question and listened to their answer, which is the advice my dad gave me that seemed so simple.

I drink four glasses of wine a day, but I love myself.” And you’re like, “No, that’s—”. You can just be a trainwreck and still have success.

WHITNEY CUMMINGS: Most people just see the—it’s like a sculpture. I didn’t throw all my crap at him right away. You know what, I think that was okay. Check out her new podcast “Good For You” on Apple Podcasts & Spotify. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: The way you treat others—no difference between the way that you treat other people. It’s like you put a bunch of strangers in a room and they all agree on something. Otherwise, what are you doing? Sorry now I’m rambling. I don’t have those sticky motives anymore. “Oop, hey!

I think you were even saying that I’m working on new materials so like, work with me here. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: It’s a full-time job.

You can leave one star, five star—it doesn’t matter to me. Now she’s a comedian, an actor, producer, an author who’s appeared in multiple TV shows and films as well as multiple stand-up specials. Emotionally or—, LEWIS HOWES: Maybe you’re better now because you’re choosing things, you don’t really care what’s working [inaudible] but—. Then you had your own show which was like 2 or 3 seasons, I think. My biggest fear now, being boring is one that I struggle with. My thing is I have enough notes for myself. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: A year ago, I must have been working on new material.


What you gained from Whitney and what you’d like to learn more of.

My bottom line: “this is what I must have,” “this would be nice,” and “red flags.” And the red flags were like not negotiable. And for some reason, this joke stayed with me. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: He said something to me that—I didn’t understand how good his advice was until he passed. Go to your other thing—go have your—do that. He’s not forcey, maybe. WHITNEY CUMMINGS: We call it passion, we call it chemistry, we call it butterflies when that’s really just your body saying stay away from this person.

WHITNEY CUMMINGS: What’s the biggest thing you look for in somebody?

Because I was trauma bonding with people and wasting 6 months at a time. I was like, what’s one of your biggest fears or concerns? LEWIS HOWES: What’s the thing you love about him the most? It takes a year to put a good special together. It’s like all professional healers.

In fact, they don’t care. I’m talking about 20 things, I’m gonna be like, “Damn, this guy’s—”. That’s why I told you I wanted to do with this interview. And equine therapy is really the only thing that helped me understand it besides al anon and 12-step programs and codependence recovery how desperate energy is repellent. You do it every week down here [inaudible]. You see them in summer? I’m there a couple nights a week. As a strong boundary. Like you ask the question and you wait for the answer which is unbelievably—.

Just imagine.

I’m in the wrong business. My last assistant had been with me for 6 years, she’s transitioning to start a family. I think I see a lot of people in Hollywood who like, they get this special and then they don’t get picked up again for the next seasons. Your final message for the world. That’s not attainable because then of course you’re going to check your phone again. I’m setting myself up to fail. I won’t speak for other cultures, but it is. I love you, keep going. LEWIS HOWES: They call it a basic tee, I think. I don’t think that people should be silenced, but if you don’t get a laugh, it—. That, to me, that’s what’s been the hardest thing for me.

“It’s okay, I accept and love where I’m at right now. Does he? By the time we started dating, I’d been in the 12-step program for almost 8 years. You just have to be right there. It’s obvious. Merch Podcast Book Tour Media Merch Podcast Book Tour Media. It’s like he has what, a movie come out a year and then—. Thank you. When you have not recovered your brain and the type of thing that you’re attracted to, you can walk into a room and it’s just like the most messed up person will just light up. Really hot and then okay, swell.

LEWIS HOWES: [inaudible] gonna laugh and show up. I think we forget our basic [gratitudeless?] I was just really constantly in those relationships and I was in relationships where I would do 80 they would do 20 because to me—my workaholism, that was just my comfort zone.